Monday, August 5, 2013

Getting Ready for Church

We rarely get to church. Not because we are heathens, I have been a Christian most of my life and love God with all my heart. No, because of the general difficulty that comes with preparing a 2, 5 and 7 year old for the big day. Even though the churches we generally visit have relaxed policies on clothing and it is socially acceptable to wear jeans, people will notice if said jeans have large holes in the knees. Not that I really care what people think, but, well, no one wants a visit from CPS.
After an hour of searching for matching socks, I resigned myself; that wasn't going to happen for everyone. I allowed my son to wear flip-flops instead. I put diapers, wipes, juice boxes and an extra outfit in a bag. I endured a screaming fit form my two year old daughter who has decided any outfit with elastic touching her body shall not be worn. At last, everyone was dressed and ready.
My son got up from watching t.v. to go to his room. "Mom, I'm getting my super suit!"
I gave him a mom look, meant to instill fear and terror. "No you are not." I said in a tone normally reserved for cable salespeople.
He quickly sat back down. "I'll wear it tomorrow."
At last everyone was lined up and ready to go out the door. Everyone matched and had shoes on their feet. Everyone's hair was combed and shining. I could almost hear the angels singing in the heavens.
Then my daughter made a face and pointed to her diaper. "Poop, Mama."

I know God understands if I'm late.